What is your thesis? What are you tyring to prove in your essay? I've re-read your first paragraph several times, and I cannot decide if you want to say that a person's name is unimportant or very important. You say that you don't care about your name and that your name fits your personality and that some people are laughed at because of their names. You have to decide what your opinion of the importance of a person's name is, then you have to set about proving that.Your analysis of the Shakespeare quote is good. You might want though to include Juliet's question, Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo. Remember that wherefore means why . Juliet is saying that if Romeo's last name were Schwartz or Swenson or Sanchez, things would be fine, but his name is the wrong one. He's a member of the wrong family so they cannot openly declare their love.Perhaps your thesis should be, a name should not be important, but too many times it is.